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ramo0208

Rude and unsympathetic police officers

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Hi all,

I have a lot respect for police officers but in my last two dealings with them I have been shocked by how insensitive and abrasive some of the officers have been when dealing with situations that demand some of empathy and at least a degree of concern for our safety.

On one occasion I called the police after being verbally abused and threatened with violence by a family member who couldn’t be reasoned with or calmed down. I called the police, and when they arrived I was still in shock, visibly distressed and concerned for the safety of my grandmother who is prone to panic attacks and is very frail. I left the premises because I believed my presence was making the situation worse. I called the police immediately after making several attempts to calm the situation.

 

After giving all the details to the police officer about the situation, he shrugged his shoulders and said ‘so what’s the problem?’. The level of indifference was surprising to me, but I do understand that the policeman has probably become desensitised considering all the terrible things he’s likely to have seen. But at the same time, my reflexive reaction was one of shock.  They just didn’t seem to grasp how urgent the situation was, and I explained that they needed to go to my home address immediately whilst he is angry because I don’t know what he’ll be capable of doing (he has a history of violence which I also added) I replied with a note of frustration ‘how can you ask that question when I’ve said that he’s threatened to take my property, beat me up,  and is scaring my grandmother?’. That’s why I dialled 999, it was an emergency and was only a matter of time before it would get violent if the police didn’t come and remove him. 

He then reprimanded me for my ‘attitude’ and seemed to make the assumption that I was just an unruly teenager who needed to be spoken down to and probably thought that that’s why this particular family member was threatening towards me (I know I’m mind reading a bit, but I’m going to go out on the limb and say that that’s what he must have thought based on my intuition). He then asked me a series of questions in which my own sanity and mental health was scrutinised and then he asked the same questions to the person who was being threatening.

To give him credit he did eventually ask him to leave, but I couldn’t work out why I was being asked the same questions as the suspect, as though the conflict was symmetrical and that I should share part of the blame. 

 

I always thought that the Police were supposed to be citizens in uniform, who treat the public with respect. I felt like I was being undermined by having my concerns dismissed and then being accussed of having an attitude, simply for responding in an admittedly frustrated way, to a police officer who did not understand that there might be a problem with threatening behaviour.

 

I didn’t want to complain, simply because I don’t know whether he was in breach of conduct. He might have been insensitive, but that is very difficult to verify and even if it was, I don’t think being insensitive would be an offence.

 

Judging from my description do you think that the officer was wrong to ask such an unsympathetic question, and given the fact that I was clearly shaken by what just happened, don’t you think he should have taken that as a sign that I was fearful and the victim of the situation? 

 

Thanks in advance. 

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Sounds like he attended a situation and gathered all the information in a neutral way to form an unbiased assessment of the situation.
It would be remiss of him to have blindly accepted the first version of events relayed to him.
His job was to maintain order and deal with any crimes revealed, sounds like that's what he did.


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1 hour ago, Reasonable Man said:

Sounds like he attended a situation and gathered all the information in a neutral way to form an unbiased assessment of the situation.
It would be remiss of him to have blindly accepted the first version of events relayed to him.
His job was to maintain order and deal with any crimes revealed, sounds like that's what he did.


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Perhaps you’re right, but I think neutrality is only when you don’t have enough information to make a judgement about who is being victimised. Surely the fact that I called the police for help is a sign that I was the responsible one, who didn’t want the situation to escalate and didn’t want to/couldn’t use force against the person who was threatening. It was quite clear to anyone, who was physically stronger. I also had a witness but the police lady immediately disregarded him the moment she discovered that he wasn’t related. 

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Perhaps you’re right, but I think neutrality is only when you don’t have enough information to make a judgement about who is being victimised. Surely the fact that I called the police for help is a sign that I was the responsible one, who didn’t want the situation to escalate and didn’t want to/couldn’t use force against the person who was threatening. It was quite clear to anyone, who was physically stronger. I also had a witness but the police lady immediately disregarded him the moment she discovered that he wasn’t related. 

Neutrality must always apply. What if the other party in your situation had called the police before you? Would that mean that they were the responsible one and you were in the wrong.
I expect the officer has experience of attending many situations where she has heard two (or more) sides of a story and found the truth to be somewhere in between.


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Its amazing how many people call the police to get their allegation on record first yet turn out to be the source of the problem...

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6 minutes ago, skydiver said:

Its amazing how many people call the police to get their allegation on record first yet turn out to be the source of the problem...

Well that may be true, but that wasn’t my intention. I only call the police on a family member as I last resort, and it wasn’t to get him into trouble, but simply to protect myself and others from getting hurt. 

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Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, Reasonable Man said:


Neutrality must always apply. What if the other party in your situation had called the police before you? Would that mean that they were the responsible one and you were in the wrong.
I expect the officer has experience of attending many situations where she has heard two (or more) sides of a story and found the truth to be somewhere in between.


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Well if he’s basing it on his own impressions that he picked up from previous situations he’s dealt with that’s arguably not being neutral. I see you’re point, but asking ‘what’s the problem?’ after I explained the threatening behaviour strikes me as a bit bone-headed.

no, the one who calls the police is not automatically more reliable in every case and there are devious people who try to frame others, but they shouldn’t just be suspicious of everyone based on the fact that they have seen it happen in other cases.

 

Edited by ramo0208
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Posted (edited)
27 minutes ago, Reasonable Man said:


Neutrality must always apply. What if the other party in your situation had called the police before you? Would that mean that they were the responsible one and you were in the wrong.
I expect the officer has experience of attending many situations where she has heard two (or more) sides of a story and found the truth to be somewhere in between.


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And they wouldn’t have called the police before me because I presented absolutely no threat to them and I wasn’t committing a crime, if someone is about to hit you, the last thing on their mind is calling the police , it’s usually the person about to get hurt that will. Someone with a guilty conscience, is not going to get the police involved. 

Edited by ramo0208

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Posted (edited)
Quote

Dear Ramo0208.

I too have had the same treatment. I can prove my case, but the police heard the real criminal first. and because of all the lies and deceit, from two members of my family. the police had made their mind up, and totally ignored the truth. I have complained to the IPCC, but the only thing that they say (standard procedure) that you have to raise the issue with the station where the officers are stationed. I don't want to go into detail. But I got nowhere, so next month, I intend on loading up my wheelchair, and do a protest for justice protest. How long I stay there, is up to the police force, where I have issues. it will mean a two hour train journey. and sleeping on concrete with my ashtray by my side, just waiting to be arrested because of a false and fake trial. I got a four month prison sentence for conducting a very peaceful protest over a four month period (February to May 2017) for trying to get my own mother INTO a care home and away from the abuse that my mother has received from two family members. My sentence is suspended for 18 months provided I do not protest again in Leicester. but now 12 months on. I still feel so strongly about it that Enough is Enough. Protest for Justice. lock me up or hear my story. It's a long one.

Just forget it NOW or do something about it. And don't stop until it is resolved.

My best wishes MvW 

I could write a book about all the issues that I want to raise with a proper judge. Given the chance. That's what I am hoping for now.

 

 

Edited by Michael van Weber
one line added at the bottom.

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Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Michael van Weber said:

 

Thanks for sharing your story and I’m really sorry for your ordeal and particularly the mistreatment of your mother. It makes it all the more tragic that she was being mistreated by family members in my opinion. I salute your courage to stand for your rights, and I’m sorry that you felt that justice wasn’t served. Unfortunately I don’t think anything I can say can be of any help to you, because I’m not sure how I would react in your position, but I would say that you shouldn’t risk a prison sentence because if you want to help your case and your mother, you’ll be better out there in the world than in a cell. But of course, get some legal advice if you can. Depending on the nature of the abuse, evidence of mistreatment is probably quite easy to obtain. You can even higher a private detective. But once again, please get some legal advice.  Hopefully the other people in the forum will also show the sympathy and support you need. I hope your mother is safe and well. Is she not able to testify? 

Edited by ramo0208

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Hello again, thank you for replying.

Unfortunately my Mother passed away last September. My mother was the best, friendliest helpful person that you could ever meet. But my (sperm donor) for a dad, An aggressive, very quick tempered Alcoholic man. Who is very controlling.

My mother on the other hand, had been through a lot since she got married. "It was the biggest mistake that I have ever made". She repeated to me several times has I was a child.

She pickup enough courage to get a divorce from him. she instantly became very happy. Living in her own little bungalow. She met friends for the first time, neighbours  who came and sat with my mother to drink tea, have cakes and most important, a good old gossip. 

But then he reappeared and instantly, my mothers health declined rapidly (she had moto Neuron decease).

Between him and my sister, they forced her to take him in. First on the couch in the living room. Then forced  her to give away her double bed. And buy two single beds, because my mother refused outright to let him back into her bed.

Then her living room was cleared of everything that my mother owned and she got a bed, two chairs, a 24" TV on the wall and a small table for her ashtray. she was band from smoking elsewhere. At first she couldn't smoke in her own living room, because they were ex-smokers, and my mother loved puffing away. Not really inhaling much, large thick clouds of smoke came out. and A cup of tea. She was aloud to smoke only in her very small kitchen. Until I asked her why she smokes here. She replied, " it's because (her daughter ) told her to. (by this time my mother had given up hope of happiness again). I got up, grabbed the ashtray and said come with me Mam, I took her into the living room, sat her in Her chair. Grabbed a small table (my mother was afraid that (daughter would shout at her for moving the table) placed it by the side of the chair, and we smoked fag's chatted, drank, until (daughter) arrived and I got up and said. " This is Mams house, she can smoke wherever she wants. I took the table, it's perfect for an ashtray".

My Mother got very upset when the neighbours just stopped coming around. She really missed one lady. So I went and knocked on their door. I introduced myself and ask why they don't come around anymore and pleaded for an honest answer . They replied " Your mother has told me all about you, the answer is because HE is always there. I told my Mother, and she sobbed her heart out.

My dad banned in having any contact with my Mother not even at Christmas or Birthday telephone call.

I called everyone, being pasted around in circle's, I did eventually talk to my Mother's Social worker. Reported Abuse of my mother's liberty, the £60,000 abuse of my Mother's account. MY MOTHER didn't spend money, she saved it. the only money the she ever had, was the run to the post office to get child support. and she saved has much as possible, so that she could buy presents for 3 kids at Xmas. She got nothing from him. He locked HIS 200 fag's a week, in his car, so that his wife would take A cigarette out a picket of twenty. true.

and I need to sleep.

bye for now (maybe) MvW

Take care. 

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Funny how these two stories are seen as the same when one poster is complaining that he wasn't believed when he was the first person spoken to while the other poster is complaining about the opposite - that the police believed the person reporting.
People just complain when they don't get their own personal view of justice.


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12 hours ago, Reasonable Man said:

Funny how these two stories are seen as the same when one poster is complaining that he wasn't believed when he was the first person spoken to while the other poster is complaining about the opposite - that the police believed the person reporting.
People just complain when they don't get their own personal view of justice.


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You might notice that it wasn’t a failure to take my personal view of justice seriously that upset m. My problem was that the Police officer wa not able to see the problem with threatening behaviour which was demonstrated when the officer asked ‘what’s the problem then?’.

 

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