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Thank you so much. I really am open to their help. My ultimate goal is to get better (and sleep) so I will take anything they offer. In my heart though I really think my Police career is over - health really does come first. But I will see what happens. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for the reply - it does help. The thought of trying to remember everything was really worrying me. I am just going to have to go and see what happens and try to make the most of the help. My brother is now going to drive me there so that relieves a small amount of the stress. I feel weak and I hate it but I am learning to accept that it is an illness and I can hopefully get better - even if that does mean walking away. Thanks again.
I have read bits of this site in the past and even tried but failed to ask for help. I am a serving PC (just) with 19 years service. Due to terrible treatment within a specialist role and working environment I had a breakdown in 2012. I convinced myself I was better after 6 months and returned to work. My ex boss was determined to "punish" me my making sure I was sent back to front line. Long story short - I have spent the last 6 years trying to avoid my past by applying for various jobs in house that let me avoid uniform, police stations and high numbers of officers. I even took an external secondment. Eventually my depression and anxiety that started in 2012 puts an end to it and I have finally had enough. I have been off this time for 9 months with very little contact from work. I've had 2 occy health appointments and am now seeing the force psychiatrist on Thursday and I am terrified. Even getting to OHU takes it's toll on my health. I think the only reason I have made it this far this time is that I have decided somewhere in my head that I can just walk away. I don't know what to expect on Thursday and it's keeping me awake at night - along with the recurring bad dreams. Has anybody any experience of what I should expect? Thanks in advance.
Hi, I too would like to contact RetiredandHappy, but as a new member I don't think I am able to. I am very isolated and need some help and advice regarding ill health retirement due to mental health. I know there is almost zero chance of getting it but feel it is something I at least have to look at. I would probably never recover if I just walked away without at least giving it a thought. I have had a rough time with GMP since 2012 and lost a lot of faith in the Fed because of it. I have spent the last 5 years trying to hide under the radar away from Police uniform, police officers and police builidings, but I can't do it any more. I am now prepared to walk away for the sake of myself - which will mean coming to terms with the injustice of it all and I don't know how I will do that. So any advice before I jump would be very welcomed.