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Pork Pie

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Pork Pie last won the day on February 12 2017

Pork Pie had the most liked content!

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About Pork Pie

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  1. Pork Pie

    Direct Entry...Everything!

    As far as direct entry into CID goes... What are the odds we end up employing a bunch of slightly strange, non-resilient types that we then can't get rid of for love nor money? I'll be the poor sod left cleaning up their mess and sorting out constant HR issues. I can't wait.
  2. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    Our 'plus size' super was meant to do it recently, but mysteriously developed an injury just prior to the test. Not sure how easy it is to procrastinate or hide in other forces, but here it's a piece of cake. Our official fail rate is about 3%, but the administration is fairly shambolic. Booking officers on the test, and more importantly the retest is driven by front line supervision rather than HQ. Because of this, loads of officers are out of date. The ones that fail are not being recoursed by their sergeants with any consistency. If every Sgt gripped it then it would be ok... We still have no Force Policy about the test which doesn't help. Zulu - I hear you, but proving that someone hasn't got a sore knee, Achilles etc is quite difficult. I suppose the answer is that they should be on recuperative / limited duties after a while... but again our Force is in a mess about this too.
  3. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    Oh, there's options to consider alright. 1. Claim injury. Those darn turns! 2. Hide, dodge and hope nobody takes notice. 3. Move to a role where you're not tested.
  4. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    You're allowed 2 'misses', but you do have to hit the mark on your final effort (5:4) otherwise you fail. I know someone who recently failed at 5:3.
  5. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    The short answer is no. You may remember the Fed watered down Winsor's objectives, so that you cannot lose your job SOLELY for failing the fitness test. I hear that some Forces have put a few on poor performance for repetitive fails, but as far as I'm aware that's as far as it's got.
  6. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    Yes, the Chester treadmill test. This is a walk at increasing speed on a gradient. Subject to approval by the COP this is likely to be the official alternative test. Similar to the bleep test, it gives you an approximation of your v02 max.
  7. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    I am ageing, after a lifetime of competitive sport. If one day I am unable to complete this test then I'd have to honestly question whether I should be anywhere near front-line policing.
  8. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    5:4 should be a base level under which you never drop. The standard is set low enough that someone of average fitness can maintain it over a 30 - 40 year career. At the moment some see it as some kind of aspirational achievement, which is a sad indictment of the dreadful fitness level of some cops. Let's remind ourselves - We have to jog a distance (525m) which is just over the circumference of an athletic track,in three and a half minutes,once a year. That's all that's being asked of us. Quite frankly, if you can't do this with a year's notice your colleagues and the public deserve better.
  9. Pork Pie

    Fitness Test

    The top 'speed' you have to reach to get to 5:4 is about 6mph (10 minute miling). It's hardly a mad sprint. The turns shouldn't be a problem, unless you're obese and / or very weak, in which case the challenge of the turns is overcoming inertia. The turns at that speed should not cause anyone to get injured. From what I've seen some people blame the turns and claim injury as a means to avoid a retest.
  10. Pork Pie

    Senior Police Woman Suspended

    Wow, cheesepuff made me laugh!
  11. Pork Pie


    Please give an example of a 'very alarming view'. The worst anyone has said is that *some* people abuse the system. If you don't think this is true I suggest you have a better look around you.
  12. Pork Pie


    A lot of apologists on here. Probably feeling guilty about their poor sickness records. Anyway, my old inspector wasn't an 'arse'. His leaving do was absolutely packed to the rafters; a rarity these days. He didn't brag about his lack of sickness. In fact, very few people knew about his 100% record. Funnily enough, he was also 100% reliable whenever the sh*t hit the fan. Loved by his troops and totally respected by the SMT. He deserves a long and happy retirement.
  13. Pork Pie


    My inspector's just retired. He didn't take a SINGLE day's sickness in his career. Maybe it's a coincidence, but he was also a damned good cop, respected by all and the best boss I've worked for by a country mile. He was front line for all of his career, he wasn't superman (drank, used to smoke, rarely exercised) and as far as I know wasn't renowned for spreading contagious diseases around the nick. Maybe he was lucky, but character and attitude play a big part.
  14. Pork Pie


    Er, yeah. The public rely on us to cope with stress, not go to pieces as soon as something unpleasant happens. We have to deal with shifts, long unsocial hours, misery, death, fast-moving situations, violence, accountability. It's our job. My point is, many do this for 30 years + without complaining and rarely if ever go sick. And no, they're not 'robots' or have some special constitution. They're just ordinary men and women as well as (by and large) very good police officers.
  15. Pork Pie


    I wouldn't say 'funnily enough' when people have heart attacks or get cancer. These poor people are clearly NOT taking the mick - I hope they make a full recovery. And yes, I just about remember doing some other jobs in the real world after I left school. Overall, it's not that bad in comparison. If it was as hard as you make out, front-line officers would all be going sick on a regular basis. So how is it many manage to NEVER go sick, or have several years between days off?