Cosmo Smallpiece

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Cosmo Smallpiece last won the day on January 20

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About Cosmo Smallpiece

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  1. How has the Police changed you as a person?

    I've been out ten years. Looking back, after about 5 years I was convinced everyone I dealt with was a tw*t and treated them accordingly, which with hindsight was a long way from the truth and got in the way of swift easy resolution of problems on occasions. Now, I find myself pretty much impervious to insults no matter how offensive - they never come close to the ones I got when in a pointy hat - and when I see folk being victims of their own stupidity, knowing I can walk away from it is an absolute delight.
  2. Great British Bake Off........is off......

    I read this somewhere else ... if all the presenters go, Ch4 have bought a very expensive tent.
  3. Screenplay Research

    I think you could vague this up enough to be dramatically credible just by having a shot of someone looking at a screen and doing a well rehearsed dramatic 'Well, who'd a thought' look into the middle distance before hurriedly logging-off as a colleague entered the room. If you want a shot of the screen just put 'Anyshire Police Records System' on it. Suspension of Disbelief and all that ......
  4. Is the MDP a good force to work for?

    Deafening silence so far. Can't comment, but you might want to Google 'Infrastructure Policing' to see details of two possible futures.
  5. Impact on Social life

    It's a while since I was in the job, so it may have relaxed a bit, but you really need to give this a bit of thought. Red lights and other relatively minor traffic offences, assuming no harm to others, .. err, no. Else you'd never get anything done off duty. And be ever so lonely. The cannabis chap will probably end up embarrassing you professionally one way or another and if you have a 'large' social group so will others, eventually. The test is when you come across them in circumstances where you have no discretion or real choice, what will you do. Mine was a bunch of mates refusing to pay for a curry. Meanwhile the honest truth is you may well find that once you're in, you may not have such a big group of friends as you thought .. and you need to be sure the ones that stay are genuine.
  6. Well, who'd have believed it?

    Empty reserved seats couldn't be used by other passengers. Not in my regular experience ....
  7. We're Saved - Zombie Knives now Banned!

    I imagine proving intent when the perpetrators brain is a greenish brown liquid would be challenging too.
  8. The Referendum Discussion

    Yes. I imagine some 'Leave' voters were mightily confused on Friday morning when they found all the immigrants hadn't vanished overnight.
  9. Worried about family affects on job.

    Jamie: It's one thing having a sibling who you have no choice but to be associated with going to the dark side, another to proactively seek out or at least not avoid being in the company of undesirables. You sound like you're already vetted above the level of PC, so your starting from a good position. Your bigger challenge will be managing any future family fall out from you coming into contact with your sibling in a professional capacity and having to take action. The risk of that can be managed by where you get posted to but it could happen. EMZ: 'Associate' has a simple English meaning - don't try to weasel out of it .... Try to cover up that relationship and get caught out, you will have demonstrated dishonesty. Application unlikely to proceed beyond that point. Tell them that you once did associate, inadvertently, but ceased the relationship because of his/her activities you will have demonstrated honesty and sound principles.
  10. France: Police Nationale

    "See - told you we should have turned left not right back there."
  11. Blue Light Bureaucracy

    Hmm, not sure that's right. With their response time targets you're hard put to find an ambulance in London not running on lights and sound.
  12. It is the little things in life........

    Call for you .. HR Dept I think... That's me and Mrs Smallpiece with tears running down our cheeks. Excellent.
  13. Senior Police Woman Suspended

    Oh come on - there's loads more bad puns to be had out of this. Cross my heart ..
  14. What did they expect?

    He was a bit of an academic, it's true. But in his defence he fair kicked bottom that day. The units in question were a lot more helpful for a week or two.
  15. Hillsborough Verdict

    Er, yes. That's why I described it as 'spin'. My attempt at irony evidently failed.