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  1. 2 points
    The current banking crisis explained by an Irishman Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.' Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.' The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.' Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.' The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?' Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.' The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!' Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.' A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?' Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898' The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?' Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.' Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland.
  2. 1 point
    I hope I don't offend anyone with these comments, but I am seriously pi$$ed off with David Cameron and Mrs May. They have well and truly stabbed police officers in the back with their reforms regarding pay and pensions. I know HMG have to recover from the dire financial state we were left in by Labour, but there are certain institutions which should be left alone, i.e Police, Armed Forces, Nurses and a few others. Did anyone notice that as soon as the death of David Rathband was announced, Show-Pony Dave and Ms Malfoy couldn't wait to get on the radio and TV to spout platitudes about how brave and how David gave his life to serving the public, the idea was not to spout about David as such, but to make them look as if they cared a hoot. Cameron and May couldn't care less about David Rathband, it's all about them looking good in the public eye, making it look as if they were a caring government. I would rather Cameron and May said nothing at all becauser their words are worthless.
  3. 1 point
    Then get nominated and stand as a Federation Rep. Then go to Conference and see how motions are dealt with. Get a motion carried and the JCC will then deal with it and take it forward. Motions are proposed and they are voted on by your Reps from all over the country. If a motion is lost it means that the majority do not support it and it will not be pursued. If you want fairness through the Service then let us see ALL officers working 24/7 for 365 days a year, on unsociable hours, and not hours to suit the individual. If someone has to provide 24/7 365 cover then that should apply to every single warranted officer. Part of previous pay rises has been to take account of you not having the right to strike. I some times wonder why people are in the job at all. As for Staff members, what on earth did we do without them. If anything has ballooned over the last 25 years then it is civilian staff posts. 5 people doing jobs which used to be done, quite capably by one. People to tell us where crime is taking place, well if an officer was not aware of where crime was then he should not be in the job. We always have a good laugh when someone goers to HQ and brings us back the current buzz word or phrase. It is unfortunate that some stick, like managers, who could not manage to pull their trousers up by themselves. There rant over.
  4. 1 point
    I've never tried to argue that public sector employees as a whole are not better off than the private sector. However when comes to us,the Police, I believe all arguments are irrelevant. We are not the same as the rest of the public sector. We are a completely different animal. It is not a an expression of arrogance or superiority, but an observation that we are not the same. We are not employees. We are not protected by unions, conventions, the right to strike or stick up for selves whatsoever . I get quite fed up hearing that we are "LUCKY" to have a secure job with a good pension(well at the moment anyway). I speak for all of us when I say, we are NOT lucky. Nothing we get is undeserved. When we tell of the horrors, sacrifices, hardships, the dangers..... the missed christmas dinners, missed evenings, missed bed time stories, we are told by many a DM journalist/reader, politician that it is tough, we chose our job. Quite right too. Well when I do eventually retire and have something to show for it(which hopefully I still will!!), when I do enjoy some respite and good fortune and a retirement earlier than others, it will not be through luck. It will be because I chose to do this job. We chose this job that others don't want to do and thus we deserve everything we get.... whatever that eventually proves to be.
  5. 1 point
    And Miss Piggy is far better looking! .....and more intelligent.
  6. 1 point
    M. only one had you in stitches ? I didn't stop laughing from start to finish of reading them.